Publishing for a Change, LLC presents Gail Dickert, author of #RecoveryInRealTime as she shares more about the writing process behind her "Anti-workbook" for surviving multiple traumas.
Maybe it's the therapy or maybe it's how we are consistently editing our negative self-talk... but whatever it is, survivors have a litany of mantras for getting through a tough memory, a terrifying event, a family gathering, a triggering moment, or a typical day in the life of PTSD or anxiety.
I was going to list some stories about how this plays out for me, but it reminds me of one of the hashtags from #RecoveryInRealTime (flip over to page 85 if you have your copy handy).
"I know from my experience - The longer I evolve as a Survivor, the clearer my story and my desire to share it manifests in a way that is concise. It isn't that the story is perfect or doesn't require ongoing edits from a wiser or more evolved version of myself. The message morphs but the tone of peace and sanctity of my truth freely and accurately echo through the past. I find hope in the belief that my Survivor voice will get clearer in the future." (Recovery In Real Time: A Trauma Survivor's Anti-Workbook"
It is still a miracle that I add a day to my invisible "I survived" chart every single morning. Every single day is one more day that I show them all that they cannot break me completely and that I am in fact, a survivor... and every single day, my voice gets clearer.
I see this in many survivor networks. This week I made time to connect with advocates on Twitter who lead a #SexAbuseChat every Tuesday night. As I followed, liked, retweeted and engaged, I noticed how many resilient mantras survivors create for ourselves!
I'm sure many of those Twitter advocates (who are slowly becoming online friends), have probably blogged about positive self-talk so after I get a few links I'll list them here, but for now, I just want to offer a simple list of Shit Survivors Say (to Ourselves). And I don't mean BAD shit... I mean, shit that shows we are doing the work, making sure we are taking steps forward, and being our badass-selves in recovery:
When exhausted from expectations, we say, "I'm really doing enough and need to calm the fuck down."
When faced with a tense, high-energy, complicated event, we say, "This situation I'm in right now will never be as bad as (fill in the blank of trauma)."
When recovering from another disappointing friendship, we say, "I will not let that asshole determine my capacity to trust."
When facing a flashback or anniversary of a trauma, we say, "Don't make me explain myself to you when I'm tired."
When looking in the mirror after a nightmare, we say, "Today is (insert date) and this is a day you can handle."
When deciding whether to post our public thoughts/feelings about the trauma, we say, "In the end, my voice is my voice and I will not be censored to keep others comfortable."
It isn't always eloquent, but it is direct self-talk that combines grace and tenacity.
It isn't always easy to describe, but the shit we say to ourselves, the good quality shit that keeps us from the edge of a knife or the bottom of a bottle is the shit that proves #SurvivorVoicesAreClear. We are all getting clearer every single day that I choose to live as a survivor.
Stay tuned for updates as I network with the advocates who are NOT seasonal, such as myself...
One more post to follow here at Publishing for a Change, LLC.
Thank you, to my brave readers... keep sharing. I’m here with you... a little while longer... #RecoveryInRealTime happens today.