Publishing for a Change, LLC presents Gail Dickert, author of #RecoveryInRealTime as shares more about the writing process behind her "Anti-workbook" for surviving multiple traumas.
As some readers know, #RecoveryInRealTime is comprised of 125 hashtags presented in a 5-stage grief cycle. Why? Because trauma recovery is basically a lifetime of grief – we grieve our innocence and our lives before trauma, in iterations that can surprise us even years removed from the experiences. Denial is common, Anger is needed, Bargaining is natural, Depression is devastating and Acceptance happens… this is all part of the recovery journey.
But let's keep talking about anger a bit…
How often do we allow ourselves the permission to come back to the concept and truly appreciate what anger offers us as survivors?
I keep thinking about how this book is useful to survivors from many different trauma exposures. I have heard from combat survivors, sexual assault survivors, incest survivors, and even from those who experience vicarious trauma.
While I am empowered to know that the book is finding an audience, I do ask myself about hashtag #29 as the process continues… #TheyKnewBetter.
As the book reminds us, there is a culture and community of violence and cruelty that often promotes trauma and if nothing else, it stays silent in the face of survivors. I am glad it's finding an audience, but damn... there are so many trauma survivors and the culture of abuse continues unchecked.
I remember plainly the day I heard the current US President’s words: “Grab ‘em by the pussy,” he said. As a survivor of sexual assault and one who had grown stronger because of the efforts of former Vice President Biden, I still cannot stomach it.
To have a national leader suggest that women’s bodies were there for the grabbing…
To suggest that it was all just a joke…
To suggest that women or survivors were being hypersensitive.
Our anger still makes sense.
Anger is the most reasonable response from any woman or anyone who loves their mother, daughter, wife, grandmother, aunt… sister.
If we do not channel that anger, by understanding its depths, then we are all made victims again, at every turn. THEY did know better… our abusers, of course, but also the people and government officials who make up the culture of silence and flippancy that continues to shame us from being fully angry and fully present with the injustices that affect us all!
I don’t know how long I will feel angry – sometimes it is for an hour and sometimes it is for a month or longer. I find acceptance along the way and I know many survivors who find the balance of expressing their necessary anger and then practicing self-care.
Maybe I’ll stay angry until there is justice for trauma survivors and we are treated like more than one passing hashtag… 125 hashtags will do for now, but maybe #ItsOnUs to go deeper into the survivor process and make sure we aren't just heard, but also understood.
Brave readers, keep sharing. I’m here with you. #RecoveryInRealTime happens today.